Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize