i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
