I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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