For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
