and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
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