Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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