I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
