i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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