Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
