Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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