I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
