i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
