I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
