she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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