i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
