sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize