He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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