She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Houston, we have a blender
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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