go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
