Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
