So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
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