Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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