He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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