Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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