Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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