The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
