he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Even my vagina gasped.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize