it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
