that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize