I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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