I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
