those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
