i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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