I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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