We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
