Me too!
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Houston, we have a blender
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
