I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Randomize