we're blogging at a bar
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize