i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
