i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
