I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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