he puts the penis in happiness.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
