I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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