girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
