im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
