you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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