Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
