I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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