so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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