There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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