I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
