I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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