I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
