And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
