Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
