I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
