I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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