Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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