Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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