matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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