he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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