I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
