I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
