Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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