brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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