So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize