thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
