somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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