yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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