You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
