Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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